Marriages for NRI men have become a huge challenge. Earlier, the threat loomed around the safety and security of Indian brides marrying NRI men and moving to a foreign country. But today, thanks to the awareness of gender biased laws, the tables have turned, where the men are at the receiving end.
We received one such case from an Indian origin man settled abroad. He pens this story in the hope to help other men in similar situations.
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His Story
Anand (name changes) hails from South India and is working and settled in Germany. In 2016, he got married to Shweta (name changed) and took her along on a spouse dependant visa.
The couple was blessed with a son, however, in 2019, the wife resorted to filing multiple false cases against the husband in Germany. Anand shares:
My entire marital life lasted for about 3-years. I went through false criminal charges all alone in Germany without any support. While there are hundreds of NGOs supporting women here, there is zero support for the men to cope with these domestic battles.
A single phone call from the wife to the local authority can ruin our life completely. The legal system here is too complicated and biased towards the women. Not to miss that it is also extremely expensive to hire a lawyer in international jurisdiction, which takes additional toll on a falsely accused husband.
A woman can literally say anything against her husband and the courts believe her in most of the instances.
Adding further, Anand said:
In Germany, a wife can file a fake “6-months Violence Protection and the husband cannot go anywhere near her for the next 6-months”. Subsequently, the wife can grab away the family house and even get monthly maintenance. When it comes to the child, a wife can alienate him from the father by scaring him away or telling him that your father is a dangerous man.
The wife can stop all communication between child and father, yet claim child’s monthly maintenance, including his education fees. Under the Violence Protection Act in Germany, a wife can also keep her location secret, keep a new born baby away, remove father’s name from the child’s records, file criminal charges against husband to ruin his career and get one-time alimony or post divorce maintenance as final settlement until the divorce is approved.
In Germany, it generally takes around 2-3 years for a divorce process to be concluded, however, the wife is entitled to half of the husband’s pension and child support until he turns 18.
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How Did I Come Out From This Mess?
Anand expressed,
During my troubled martial life, I used to record audio and video clips whenever my wife demonstrated violent behaviour, such as breaking kitchen utensils, stabbing carton boxes, or even trying to assault me by throwing articles at me.
At that point in time, I actually recorded these instances to show my father-in-law so that he could advice and control the anger of his daughter. However, fortunately, when I was charged with false criminal cases, these same audio and video clips came to my aid at court.
Recalling his painful years, he added,
Although I have fully recovered mentally and financially now, the loses and the pain that I went through are unexplainable as a foreigner in this country. Thankfully, I now have a peaceful life with weekend visits to meet my son.
After three years of hell with a wrong woman as a wife, I can never ever imagine getting remarried or have another child. It took me almost four years to come out of the trauma.
My Advice To All NRI Men Bringing Indian Brides To Germany
Anand took this opportunity to share his experience so that other men who are planning to bring their Indian wives to Germany can be alerted. He said:
My sincere suggestion to all NRI men is that you must have a “Prenuptial Agreement” done before applying for your spouse’s dependent visa. No matter what, this is absolutely mandatory to protect yourself, your house and your hard earned money.
I strongly believe that the real victims have to be protected, be it a male or a female. The laws are lopsided and still do no recognise the abuse face by the other gender. Some women are exploiting the loopholes in the law meant for their protection. Infact, innocent women are also suffering the brunt of these false cases.
Anand also exclaims, that the anti-men mindset is not just limited to India, but exists even in a European country. He says:
Even in a country like Germany, surprisingly, there is a strong belief in society that husbands are the only violent spouses in a marriage.
On the other hand, there are many men like me who have suffered at the hands of a physically and verbally abusive wife.
To be honest, most of the time, we men prefer to hide such incidents in our life because we feel ashamed and also do not have guts to apply for divorce.
Anand concludes his note truly hoping that if alimony and maintenance laws are changed for the women, the divorce rate and false cases by Wives or Single Moms will reduce drastically in society.
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Voice For Men India Take:
While the above advice on Prenuptial Agreements may be valid in a foreign land, is the marriage if registered under Hindu Marriage Act, there is no restriction on an Indian bride to return to her country and file multiple false cases locally. Prenups are not legally valid in India.
The harassment by such wives can be beyond imagination, however, a prenup might just secure the husbands assets and bail him out from endless litigations in foreign land where the matrimonial home exists.
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LEAVE YOUR COMMENTS BELOW:
"Read This Story Before Bringing Indian Bride To Germany": NRI Husband | #HisStory
▪️"In Germany, a wife can file a fake "6-months Violence Protection & the husband cannot go anywhere near her for the next 6-months…"#VoiceForMen https://t.co/5KOXyh6utW
— Voice For Men India (@voiceformenind) June 5, 2024
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