Dowry is a crime in India – meant to be an offence for anyone who gives or takes the same, yet we only see arrests for the groom’s family who is one of the partners in crime. However, today dowry or reverse dowry (alimony) is yet prevalent in society in various forms.
Asking bride’s family to exchange list of gifts is just one. On the other hand, bride has her own set of expectations, which one can debate to be fairly right on her part. One such case comes across from Infosys Mcity Confessions Facebook page, wherein a girl has narrated how she wants to break up a marriage alliance because the boy will have to return to India and may not find a suitable package job.
The girl tries to justify that she wants to be ‘practical’ in taking this decision prior to marriage and she quotes,
No Girl Will Marry A Failure And I Don’t Want To Risk My Future With Him.
Here’s what she wrote:
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“I badly need your help, I got engaged to a guy who is working in US and was scheduled to get married in next month now he lost his job in US and if he doesn’t find job in 3 months he will have to definitely return back to India, he told me this and he has plans to return to India, he has a total work experience of 1 year in India and 3 years in US. But I have a total 6 years experience, we both are same age and he finished his master’s degree there, and I am sure he won’t get 12 Lakh p.a.
I am now in a dilemma whether to proceed or not my mind says to call off this as I want to think practically in this situation. He is a very emotional person and never hid anything from me and I am more confused on how to tell him this.
I know many of you will scold me in comment but, no girl will marry a failure and I don’t want to risk my future with him. Please advise me how to come out of this without any problem.
One can say there is no problem with this post as the girl is having clarity before marriage and being truthful about the same. Let us put it this way – there is no problem with this post as the same has been expressed by a girl. In case a boy chooses to back out before marriage because the girl has failed in her career or something else which was pre planned, he is charged with several cases – one of them being, ‘rape on pretext of marriage.’
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Also, the girl has her right to make the choice of saying No in this case because the marriage has not taken place yet. What if they were already married? Our legal system will still permit her to do so at any point in time because of gender biased laws and society that justifies the same as Her Right Her Choice.
If this is the premise of a relationship and marriage, a man must have equal right to do the same at any point in time of an alliance as well. However, in reverse cases, because society which considers him the sole provider of a home, burdens him with all possible responsibilities — thereby forcing him to continue in a dead, abusive and incompatible relationship.
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