Parental Alienation is one of the biggest sufferings during separation/divorce. We are living in times, where marriages are breaking very fast, due to the absence of patience or adjustments from either sides.
Over the years, unfortunately, the family courts have become so biased towards separated women, that without any charge against the husband being proven, wives are rewarded with lifelong maintenance. Effectively, maintenance is being granted basis ‘husband’s income’ and not merits of the case.
This, in a way, encourages women to walk out of their matrimonial homes, live their life on their terms, but at the cost of estranged Husband’s money. In situations, where children are involved, matters become worse, because many a times, small kids are used as pawns in maintenance battles, to extract more and more money from the Men (fathers).
It is also a fact, that Men are ready to pay any amount even in such scenarios, if wife allows them to meet with their children. This is how Husbands have been tamed and a well oiled system continues to run, constantly bashing patriarchy.
Voice For Men India came across one more thread on Parental Alienation which is going viral. We wish to state that this is father’s side of the story and we refrain from taking any sides, since matter is subjudice.
37-year-old Playback Singer and Composer Kshitij Tarey has been going through a bitter divorce battle since some years now. Kshitij who has sung popular numbers namely Tose naina laage (Anwar), Madno (Lamhaa), Aye khuda (Dev D), Bandeya (Murder 2) amongst others, has penned a long note through his social media accounts, expressing how he has been forced to go public, after failing in every effort to meet with his 6 and a half year old twin sons.
Here’s What Kshitij Wrote
Hi Everyone, This is Kshitij Tarey. I tried for long that these things should not come out in public. But now I am left with no option but to do this. I am going through a very bad and violent divorce case.
I & my wife had a lot of troubles in our marriage due to her violent behaviour towards me and our children. Eventually we decided to go for divorce mutually. When she talked to her family and friends, suddenly out of nowhere I was blamed for many wrong things – including having an affair, demanding Piano as dowry and she started demanding huge money and what not.
Separation, Children Taken Away
Me & my wife have separated from Dec 2019 when her parents and her Brother & Bhabhi came to Mumbai and took my wife with them and leaving our twin children with me in Mumbai.
1 month later in January 2020, my wife came on pretext of celebrating Children`s birthday and blamed me for lot of wrong thing and forcefully took the kids from me with the help of 1 couple from my building.
That couple created lots of issues and defamed me in every sense possible, so I had to send legal notice against that couple and only then the couple sat quiet. All this was done in between the school session and my kids` education was also hampered.
That day my wife falsely accused me of many things. Since she took the kids forcefully and blamed me for many things, I filed for divorce. She took the kids to Hyderabad. When I went to meet the kids in Hyderabad in Jan 2020. Kids pleaded to take them with me to Mumbai.
I again tried to convince her that for the kids’ welfare we should work out a way which works best for everyone but all she was talking about demanding huge money (I will share her demands at the end of the post).
Threatened To Implicate Me In False Cases
Then she shifted to Ujjain. In Feb 2020, again I went to Ujjain to meet my kids where she created a lot of drama and tried to implicate me. And threatened me with fake police complaints. Unfortunately, I had to go to meet kids at their home, because when we met in Ujjain mall, my wife along with her Mausi again forcefully took the kids.
When I went to their home, things got heated and eventually I had to tell her family that she has been violent with me and hit me. (Yes, Man can be victim of physical Abuse) thinking that now her family will be a bit calmer. But her cousin brother told me that I will face huge consequences and said “ise to main dekh lunga” To my shock her mother supported her saying “Haan Maara hai to maara, maara to maara”.
Her whole family didn’t seem to find anything wrong in my wife being a physical abuser. The reason she hit me was that her father and their family consider her father an avatar of God and I should worship him and agree to whatever he says which I denied and it hurt their expectations because I worship God and not a man who pretends to be an avatar of God. Somehow again with help of her mausi I was “allowed” to meet my own sons. I was asked to come next day to meet.
Next day again when I went to pick my kids. My wife again created a scene and hit herself and filed fake complaint against me in the Mahila police station and said that I need to bring the court order to meet my own son.
COVID & Lockdown, Child Custody Case
After that lockdown was imposed due to COVID in March 2020 and I wasn’t allowed even to see my kids on video call. My family members talked to many of her family members to convince them that I should at least be allowed video call with the kids as COVID pandemic is there and I am worried about my kids but no one from their family helped.
After a lot of efforts when nothing worked I filed the case under the Guardians and Wards Act (GWA) for the custody of children. I got the visiting rights, I kept meeting kids thrice in a month for next 1 year.
Kids were very very happy and always asked me to come to meet them. The things my children used to tell me about their mother and her family during visiting were no less than any shock. But I believe in the Indian law and judiciary, so I kept convincing the kids that everything will be fine.
My children many times pleaded me that I should take them with me because their mother and her family is treating them very badly but since the court cases were going on I decided that I will fight it legally.
For 2022 summer vacation I asked the court that I want to take the kids to my hometown, to which my wife pleaded that it should not be allowed as Children are not comfortable with me and children should be asked first.
The Hon`ble court called children & after talking to them the Hon’ble court gave me 3 days visitation per week for whole summer vacation. When I went to meet the kids, my wife tutored the children and brainwashed them completely and I again could not meet.
When next time I again went to meet with my Bhabhi in May 2022 with the proper visiting order issued by the Hon`ble Court, my wife`s family gathered whole mohalla (neighbourhood) to create pressure.
When we exposed wife`s violent nature and drunkard behavior, my wife along with her Bhabhi became very violent and behaved violently and started abusing us and threatened us with our lives (I am still not understanding how can others interfere in father son relationship even after having Hon’ble court orders).
“I Have Been Threatened To Be Trapped In False #MeToo Case”
The FIR was filed against my wife and her Bhabhi and due process is on. In the meantime, I haven’t seen my children as it is very risky to go into their territory.
I have been threatened with false “ME TOO” case against me. (Due complaint is lodged). I have received messaged trying to Honey trap me. I along with my family have been saved from major road accidents.
Fake Domestic violence case is filed against me and my parents whereas the fact is my wife was the actual abuser.
I Am Victim Of Domestic Violence
This all is happening just because I am not agreeing to their demands of huge money. Whoever is supporting my wife for money must understand I will not pay a single rupee out of fear to “Settle” cases because I haven’t done anything wrong.
I will keep fighting for the rights of me and my children. I am a survivor of domestic violence. My children are living in the most toxic and violent family and I am sure that we will get the custody of my children as welfare of child is paramount consideration.
I have got all the proofs against her and her family and all those who are reading this post will be shocked to know how low my wife and her family can go for the sake of money. I am worried about my children`s physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
Maintenance, Alimony Demands
The only thing I want is that the kids should not be used for extorting money and a loving father sons’ relationship should not be ruined because of some people`s greedy and egoistic nature.
The demand put by my wife for maintenance Under domestic violence case (where the fact is she is the abuser):
Amount Claimed – Rs. 2 lacs Total Amount claimed
Rs. 16 lacs Food, clothing, medical and other Basic Needs
Rs. 1 lac / month Children expenses and other related expenses
Rs. 2 lacs Interim maintenance under domestic violence case
Note To Wife
Wife, all the people who are supporting you and trying to destroy lives. I hope you understand that ultimately it is the children who are going to suffer and who are suffering the most.
I don’t know what you are even gaining by threatening them and not allowing them to be with their loving father. I have tried my level best to talk to you, your family, all your close friends and none have been able to help me and the children.
I am not scared of all the threats, fake cases and will keep fighting for what is right. Rest all I leave up to God. I would like to thank all my family members my friends my colleagues for standing beside me in this toughest and worst period of my life and in supporting me in every way possible.
I would also like to thank the Hon’ble Court and the department of Police for always listening to both the sides before taking any action.
Note – I and my children are not the only one going through this. Lacs of children are suffering because of this attitude of separated couples and their family. I request everyone if you see this happening with any child in your family, friend circle or neighbourhood,
Should children suffer due to separation of parents? India is only concerned about Rights of Women. Rights of Married Men have been reduced to 0, while they are only being used to pay up as ‘Responsible Fathers’. When will India move towards Shared Parenting Law?
Leave Your Thoughts On This Below:
“I Am Not A Kidnapper, I Am Just A Father Pleading To See My Son” | Manoj Dhankhar
Join our Facebook Group or follow us on social media by clicking on the icons below
Blogging about Equal Rights for Men or writing about Gender Biased Laws is often looked upon as controversial, as many 'perceive' it Anti-Women. Due to this grey area - where we demand Equality in the true sense for all genders - most brands distance themselves from advertising on a portal like ours.
We, therefore, look forward to your support as donors who understand our work and are willing to partner in this endeavour to spread this cause. Do support our work to counter one sided gender biased narratives in the media.
To make an instant donation, click on the "Donate Now" button above. For information regarding donation via Bank Transfer, click here.