We have always encouraged women to speak up about the problems they face in marital life. However, we forget or overlook to ask Men, to equally be vocal about the domestic abuse they face in the confines of their matrimonial homes. This gender bias combined with women centric laws, leave married men in India to lead a life which is undeserving, and at times compel them to continue with a dead bond because there is no exit.
The braver ones who take the plunge and file for divorce, are often served with endless false cases from the women and her family. In the end, most of these cases get settled once the man and his family agree to pay up a lumpsum amount (legally known as alimony) to end the dark chapter and ‘buy’ peace.
One such case has been narrated to us by a man, whose marital relationship had been rocky from Day 1.
His Story – #SpeakUpMen
I got married in 2014. From the very first day my wife entered our home, she started quarrelling with me and my mother, forcing me to live as a nuclear family. Sadly, my father did not have much contribution in my upbringing and whatever I am today is because of my mother.
Now, a woman who had newly stepped into my life, wanted me to leave the woman who made me. When I was reluctant to do so, my wife started creating new issues every single day and the same started turning not just verbally ugly, but also violent. It came to a point when she even slapped my mother. However, later, she inflicted injuries on herself and called up her brother informing him that we had harmed her physically.
When my brother-in-law reached our place, he took her for a medical check up, but no real injury was traced. We parted ways at that time and lived separately for nearly two years.
Societal Pressure To Get Wife Home
A mistake that many make, including me, is that we think more about society, than peace in our lives. Due to social pressure and constant advice from my relatives, we decided to let go off the ugly past and spoke with my wife’s family to bring her home and start afresh.
My wife too agreed, however, due to our shock, she had not changed one bit. It was a re-run of all the same things again.
However, this time, she had one more forced demand – her demand for us to have a child, but I was not ready yet. Once again, due to her constant fighting and daily pressure tactics, I was forced to have a child. Somewhere, I also felt it might change things for good, if we welcome a new born into our lives.
We were blessed with a girl child and all were very happy…less did we know that this happiness was not going to last for long.
“You Do Not Have Right To Touch My Child”
Within few months of our daughter being born, my wife started behaving absurdly. One day, she suddenly told me and my mother,
You don’t any right to touch or play with the child, as the daughter only belonged to her. We couldn’t believe our ears and were heartbroken with her behaviour.
Separation Happened Again
Daily dramas kept unfolding and once again she left home with our daughter to live separately. She called her father, who came home and took his daughter and my daughter along with him for good.
This time the communication channel had completely broken down, and I decided to file for divorce in 2018.
Filed Divorce, Got False Cases In Return
When summons for divorce reached my wife’s residence, they did not receive it deliberately. Instead, they bribed the delivery guy to let them open the same, read it and sealed it again, asking him to cook up some excuse for non delivery.
My wife instantly filed a case of Domestic Violence, and subsequently another criminal case under Section 125 CrPC demanding maintenance. My lawyer appeared for the DV case, however, shockingly we never received any summons for 125 maintenance case.
My wife took ex-parte order from court for Rs 7,000 per month.
My lawyer asked me to appear in court, however, it was not possible during COVID, as we lived in different states.
As On Date
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