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Home IN THE SOCIAL GENDER STORIES

In-Laws Should Not Interfere Unnecessarily | Independent Wife Should Also Make Adjustments

Arnaz Hathiram by Arnaz Hathiram
December 23, 2020
in GENDER STORIES, HIGH COURT, IN THE LAW, IN THE SOCIAL
0
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Karnataka High Court Grants Bail To Man After Married Woman Willingly Sent Nude Pictures To His Mobile (Representation Image Only)

Karnataka High Court Grants Bail To Man After Married Woman Willingly Sent Nude Pictures To His Mobile (Representation Image Only)

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A Division bench which comprised of Justice Natraj Rangaswamy and Justice BV Nagarathna was hearing a joint divorce petition on Monday where Justice Nagarathna made certain observations on how couples should jointly make an effort to make their marriage work.

However, once again the Gender Biased Media has completely changed the essence of the observations, and selectively printed headlines ‘only calling out patriarchy’. First lets deal with the case and then our take below.

Case:

This is a case where a couple had been married for two years and due to differences, had filed a joint petition for divorce. After going through the contents of their respective submissions, Justice Nagarathna made certain remarks against both the in-laws of the woman and the woman herself, so as to drive a point that both sides need to co-exist in their indvidual roles.

In-Laws Must Know How To Treat Empowered Women

Justice Nagarathna discussed about how at times, due to patriarchal mindset, the husband and in-laws do not know how to deal with an independent daughter-in-law. She remarked,

The society always looks down upon the woman. Ours is a patriarchal society. People always say woman empowerment, but the society does not know how to treat an empowered woman. Parents don’t teach their sons on how to treat an empowered woman… That is a problem with men, I will say that.

The Bench further stated that, in a marriage, the mother-in-law should also not interfere unnecessarily once the wife comes into the picture.

Daughter-in-Law Should Also Adjust

The counsel for the wife submitted that she was finding it difficult to adjust with her partner as she is the only child. To this, Justice Nagarathna said that a woman with financial independence and education should know how to deal with her family and the same should not lead to break up of her marriage. The bench remarked,

Just because you are the only child does not mean you can ignore your husband.

Overall Observations While Trying To Retain Marriage

The Bench also quoted several instances where many couples came together during the COVID-19 period through video conference hearings and withdrew their respective divorce petitions. The court said,

One couple came together after 18 years in VC (video conferencing hearing)….It is easy for us to pass an order.
The Court also went on to encourage the couple to attend counseling sessions as well as to communicate with each other at all times. Justice Nagarathna quoted,

Marriage is all about adjustment. It is ultimately only between 2 people.

At this juncture, Bench observed, the “round faces” of the estranged husband-wife duo, who were physically present, and opined:
Please don’t make a round face, we are trying to make it work for you. This is the tendency of the present generation, you don’t accept that you are wrong.
As the hearing drew to a close, the Bench commented,
For your sake, don’t burn the bridges between yourselves.
The matter has been adjourned to January 6, 2021.

Gender Biased Media

From the above, one can clearly see the intent of the court. Under no circumstances, the court has called out only one side and accused in-laws of being ‘villains’ in the marriage that is leading to divorce. However, our Gender Biased Media has chosen to selectively print only the comment on ‘Patriarchy’ in their headlines, which has then got copy pasted by several other portals.
voiceformenindia.com
Misleading Headline: Ours is a patriarchal society which does not know how to treat an empowered woman: Karnataka High Court
voiceformenindia.com
Misleading Headline: Ours is a patriarchal society which does not know how to treat an empowered woman: Karnataka High Court
voiceformenindia.com
Misleading Headline: Ours is a patriarchal society which does not know how to treat an empowered woman: Karnataka High Court

Our Take:

  • When we run a portal for Men’s / Equal Rights, we certainly do not believe in keeping our women oppressed or live in a regressive way
  • To an extent, we agree with the judiciary, that interference from in-laws must be at the minimal in a marriage between husband and wife – both adult individuals should be left to take their own decisions, whether they are living in a joint family or as a nuclear one
  • However, interference from in-laws from either sides must be called out. Often we witness the immense domination of a mother-in-law over her daughter and son-in-law and virtually the maternal in-laws calling the shots of every decision in a daughter’s home (Read Delhi High Court observations in the article “Papa Ki Pari” below)
  • Karnataka High Court has also rightly pointed out how women who are independent today, do not want to make single adjustment in their matrimonial home
  • One can jump and say this is so misogynyst, however, you cannot take away the fact that a marriage is a union where both individuals can falter and if you really want to make it work, you will have to tone down on somedays, and your husband will have to step backwards on other days
  • If any individual thinks that they cannot give into this whole “Adjustment” sh*t, it is best not get into the alliance and then throw tantrums to fulfil what you want by hook or by crook
  • Some feminist portals have also drilled into women that basic cooking in your own home is also some form of domestic abuse
  • While we do not believe in limiting household chores to only one gender, adaption is a key to a successful marriage, else you may end up at court within few months/years either fighting a consented divorce or if you are a woman, perhaps walking away with lumpsum alimony in the name of empowerment

ALSO READ –

http://voiceformenindia.com/in-the-law/papa-ki-pari/

http://voiceformenindia.com/in-the-law/false-498a-cases-india-sindoor-gauhati-high-court/

http://voiceformenindia.com/in-the-law/aged-parents-cant-resort-to-senior-citizens-act-to-evict-daughter-in-law-supreme-court/

http://voiceformenindia.com/in-the-law/a-parent-cannot-be-a-guest-in-the-life-of-their-child-telangana-high-court/

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