As human beings, we cannot stop interacting with people as it is an important part of life and one cannot being isolated all the time. We have often heard people say that you cannot stay alone and you need to find yourself a partner but that is not true. Everyone does not enjoy a social life!
Sometimes happiness can be found in a strange place where you are alone. Being surrounded by toxic people, who are not good for you, can be exhausting and will only pull you down. Men are always told to “man up” and are often pressurised to get married and have a family of their own.
Not only in India but all around the world men face a lot of pressure when it comes to being in a relationship or marriage. If a man does not have a partner, people start making fun of him and call him names which can affect an individual mentally. We need to realise that men have feelings too and can go through an emotional rollercoaster.
One of the biggest examples of a single happy and successful man, is Leonardo DiCaprio – Hollywood’s biggest heartthrob who is single yet successful. India too witnesses many successful men who are single and leading a successful life – be it in bollywood, politics and even the not so famous ones in the corporate world.
There are many reasons for people to live with themselves; for example, failed relationships, loss of loved one could be amongst a few reasons. Instead of constantly explaining to people why you are single, work on yourself and also remind yourself that you are not answerable to anyone as you can happy alone.
Few Tips How One Can Engage With Ownself
1) Love Yourself
You need to work on loving yourself before loving anyone else. Take out time and get to know yourself better and stop comparing yourself to others. It is hard sometimes when you are alone, when a bunch of thoughts sail across your mind; but take some time to meditate and train your mind to be positive.
Do not compare your social life to other people’s social life. You do not realise that half of the people on social media are trying to convince themselves that their life is happy and full of rainbows and sunshine, but that is not true. Remember, you really have no way of knowing if someone with a bunch of friends and a stuffed social calendar is actually happy with their life or not!
2) Travel
Travelling alone can be extremely peaceful and the best way to spend time with yourself. Find things to do and put them on your calendar. Give yourself something to look forward to. COVID has disrupted much of this right now, but exploring the world alone can be fun and informative.
3) Get a Pet
Everyone knows the importance of pets and the comfort they give cannot be replaced by anyone. Pets provide unconditional love to humans allowing them to be themselves while they are always there for you. They always stay loyal to you and love you like no one else would in this world. Also, spending time with your pet can make you happy and according to research, social interaction with your dog can increase the feel good chemical oxytocin, which puts you in a better and happy mood.
4) Date Yourself
Yes you heard that right! Why only take your partner on dates? Dress up, start taking yourself out on a date occasionally and see how happy it would make you. After all, nothing can be better than sitting in a fancy restaurant and having your favourite meal with good music…
5) Maintain Cleanliness
Staying in a dirty environment can be unhealthy for your body as well as your mental health. One does not realise that a clean surrounding is extremely important and can impact your mood in a constructive way. If your house is unclean and cluttered, take some time out and get it organised. Get into a habit of doing away with things which are not required, while arranging things in a systematic manner.
You Are A Man…You Can Be Vulnerable
Always remember, being a man does not mean you need to bottle up your emotions and cannot express how you feel. Males and females suffer differently but that does not make problems of men invalid or unreal.
Men are always told to take care of women no matter what, but that is not how it should be. Everyone should learn to take care of themselves first, then the others:
- Why should only men go through the pressures of managing the family financially?
- Why should men suppress their feelings instead of emoting them publicly?
- Lets normalise men crying whenever they want to
- Let men decide if they want to marry or stay single
- Being alone can be peaceful, productive and one can figure out their actual goals and ambitions better
Author: Nandini Shah is a 3rd year Bachelors of Journalism student and currently working as an intern with MDO.
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