Failure in a marriage can be painful – if the time spent with your partner is less, it is perhaps easier to move on, however, if you have lived with your spouse and child for nearly a decade, and the woman chooses to abruptly end all ties, the same can be traumatic.
However, every indvidual comes across grave challenges in his life – the same may not necessarily pertain only to personal problems. How one emerges stronger from such situations is what makes it inspiring in the end.
Here’s one story shared by a husband where he lived with his wife and child happily for almost 6-7 years, gave them the best lifestyle, yet, one tragedy in his life and the woman just left.
His Story
Rohan D’silva (Name Changed) is a doctor from south India and met his wife Hetal Shah (Name Changed) while the two were studying together in 2006. Both of them were studying medicine and during their interaction, the couple got close to each other.
Rohan was then 26, while Hetal was 24. After dating for nearly a year, the woman disclosed of her 1st failed marriage to Rohan. He was shocked and preferred to distance himself from the relationship. After completing her course, the woman returned to her hometown, yet kept sending emails to Rohan trying to explain to him how she had come out of the earlier bad marriage and wanted to start a new life with him.
Rohan says,
I became emotional and we got friendly again. I met her family in 2008 and within two months, we had a marriage as per Hindu customs. I had kept my family in dark, since they would have never accepted a divorcee and also a woman who belonged to another religion.
Once the couple started cohabiting together, Hetal got pregnant. This is when Rohan opened up to his family and later they welcomed the couple. The two now had a formal legal marriage and a family reception in the year 2009. No dowry whatsoever was exchanged.
Rohan’s siblings who live outside India too attended the function along with their respective families. The child was later born within a few months of the marriage.
Life & Career
Rohan had completed his main degree and was juggling between three jobs at one time. The wife was still pursuing her further studies. Rohan shares,
I was financially independent by now. I called my parents to come over to our place, to look after child, since Hetal was busy with her course.My parents willingly came, took care of our child. My mom would also make special vegetarian food with separate utensils since my wife did not eat meat.
Adding further, the husband said,
All was going well and I received a job offer from a foreign country. This was going to be a very well paying job and since I had taken loans towards home and car, I thought it would be a great move to progress. My wife too by now had completed her studies and was equally excited to shift base to a new country.Before leaving India, we went over to my parent’s place. I moved to the new location in early 2011 and my wife and child joined me later after 3-4 months, since they were in the process of making their passports.
By now the husband and wife were 31 and 29 respectively and were living an extremely comfortable lifestyle in a 4-bedroom villa, that had a private pool, a club house, park, etc. Hetal expressed her desire to commence work, and Rohan was supportive that she should take up the same. However, soon they realised that the wife did not have the requisite experience to avail of a work visa in the country of their residence.
Hetal now had two choices – either to return to India, work for some years and return, or take up a local course which could make her eligible for a resident job.
The couple then decided that the wife would do a trainee diploma in that country. On this Rohan expresses,
I paid for the entire course, not that I should be obliging, however, she had my full support. Nonetheless, despite having an in-house full time maid, Hetal would constantly taunt me for that one year of her training, alleging that I had made her life miserable.
A year passed by and now Hetal too had a job. Once again, she was upset that she could not get a job commensurate to that of her husband and Rohan had to explain to her that it may take a few years for her to match up the difference. Rohan says,
All salary earned by her, was splurged on herself. In fact, when we travelled to India for her sibling’s wedding, I had also bought her new jewellery. We three went for international family holidays where I paid every single penny, despite her earning well. But we were family so no problem. Things were all smooth and fine until now.
Hetal wanted to study further and everytime I would take a break and all three of us would go to another country where her exams were scheduled, be with her for 15 days and return once she would complete her schedule. By 2013, she had passed all her exams. Rohan quotes,
Now she thought she was as qualified as her husband. I was happy for her. We celebrated Diwali together with my sibling who lived in the same country where we had visited for her final exams and ultimately returned to our country of work.
My Surgery
Rohan shares,
I was diagnosed with a hearing problem, however, was not taking it seriously. It required a small surgery, but I had decided to undergo the same, once Hetal was through with her exams. So in 2014, we found out one of the best doctors from Chennai and shifted to the local hospital there to get operated.Unfortunately for me, my surgery went horribly wrong and I completely lost hearing from the left side. I could also not hear from the right side, without using a hearing aid.
Despite me being in such a condition where my surgery had failed, Hetal took our child and returned to the country of work. I was required to stay back for emergency steroids. My parents were with me all through, however, my hearing sense was totally lost.
Rohan later learnt that Hetal, before leaving India, had visited some cities for some work. Possibly in the hindsight, the husband realises she was preparing to slap false cases against him soon. All through his stay in India, Hetal would barely call him, however, she was only interested in procuring her work license.
Life After Surgery
Rohan now returned home to his wife and child. However, things had drastically changed between the couple by now. He says,
Hetal started abusing and mocking me in every statement. She would taunt at me that I was balding, had become disabled, handicapped and deaf. After a point, I refused to speak with her if her abuses did not stop.Our petty fights started daily and all this was happening, when I was the one who needed support. I was already depressed for losing my hearing ability, yet she kept humiliating me.
When Rohan stopped communicating with the wife despite living under the same roof, the woman made her father call the son-in-law, questioning him about his behaviour. Rohan said,
I told her father how Hetal was constantly yelling and screaming at me, however, I also told him not to interfere between the husband and wife matter. The minute Hetal learnt about this, she ran out of the home and created a scene telling people that I was beating her.
Later in the year 2014, she took the child and just left for India to live in her parent’s home.
My Wife’s Lies & Deceit
After Hetal abruptly left the country, Rohan got a call from her supervisor. When he visited her work place, he was shocked to learn that Hetal had submitted a certificate of abortion to her supervisor, and on that pretext she had stopped going for work.
When Rohan denied being in the know-how of her alleged pregnancy, and due to her prolonged absence, the hospital terminated Hetal from her work. Rohan further quotes,
Now, whenever I would call her, she would yell and scream in front of our child and threaten me by saying that I should not forget my parents were still in India. She would abuse me in her mother tongue all the time.
Rohan tried sending her some gifts through an online service, however, she returned everything. Husband’s mother too tried her best to reach out to Hetal, but she was totally unwilling to talk.
Husband Approached Lawyers
Rohan says he does not know whether he did the right thing or not, but he took the call to approach a few lawyers, who suggested that he filed a case of Restitution of Conjugal Rights. When the wife received this notice from husband’s lawyer, she messaged him saying,
I have got this notice, now you just wait and watch!
Exactly within 12-days of husband’s RCR notice, wife visited her local police station and filed a case against Rohan alleging dowry harassment and unnatural sex. She also filed dowry harassment cases against his parents, and both his siblings who were living abroad. Rohan shares,
I could get the FIR partially quashed against my parents and siblings. I told to myself, whatever is there is against me, I will have to handle it myself, without dragging my family.She then filed multiple cases against me and since I did not appear in India, she also got an ex-parte divorce and full child custody. Police just issued an arrest warrant against me, without any B Summary or C Summary report. Even though I was constantly writing emails to the authorities, they said I was absconding.
Husband Moved To New Country
Rohan has moved to a new country for another job and is working there since 5-years now. Last year, he learnt that his ex-wife visited the country with their child and also took up a job there. Rohan immediately filed an application in the local court for child visitation.
Hetal was shocked to receive summons while she was now employed in the same country. Unlike Indian courts, the local court in that foreign country heard the matter from start to finish on the same day and ordered the woman to allow child visitation and shared rights to the father.
Incidentally, the woman played foul yet again, and claimed that she had lost her job and needed to return to India at once.
Husband’s Current State
Rohan could not see or meet his child since 2014. The last time he met the child was at a local foreign court hearing his custody matter. He says,
I am trying to come to India, taking precautions that I do not get arrested. I am doing my best to first get anticipatory bail so I can come. I am charged under sections 498A and 376.My wife had also tried to connect with the interpol, however, they refused to intervene after looking at her evidences she submitted. She has gone back to her maiden name, and also changed our child’s surname to her maiden one.
Adding further he said,
Since I have not been able to visit India, my parents come and meet me here. My wife tried harassing my parents as well. She once visited their home with five policemen asking them to break open their personal locker.We had to engage a lawyer immediately, who rushed to our place and questioned her to submit the list of streedhan she claimed was in my parent’s possession. Hetal was unable to give any list and after all the drama at my parent’s place through the day, they left empty handed.My mother has already had a stroke and my father is diabetic.
Wife’s Extortionate Demands
According to Rohan, the woman has been changing her mind frequently – sometimes she demands an alimony of Rs 5 crore and sometimes something else. Court has also asked the father (who has not seen his son since 6-years) to deposit few lakhs currently.
Rohan states,
I am willing to support my son fully but I need to have contact with him. I have a parental responsibility irrespective of what my ex-wife thinks.I have gone through some very difficult times, however, I have immersed myself in work and her attacks on me don’t matter anymore.
ALSO READ –
http://voiceformenindia.com/his-story/man-forced-to-marry-threatening-rape-charges/
http://voiceformenindia.com/his-story/false-498a-cases-nri/
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Almost Same thing happened with me also.