We often bring to you stories about Men who have been troubled by their spouses — either by mental harassment or taking the legal recourse by filing false cases. Often, in most of these scenarios, the challenge becomes deeper when children are involved.
The story below is different from the regular cases faced in matrimonial battles, since the wife is no more, and the man has been left fighting with his late wife’s family for his biological child.
His Story
The couple hails from Navi Mumbai and met in 2004 through a matrimonial website. Both together developed a healthy bond and decided to get married. Ashwin (Name Changed) was 35-years of age then and Uma (Name Changed) was 33. Both of them did not have much family support through their careers and thus the couple had a late marriage.
Marriage took place in the year 2006 — while the boy’s parents were not too keen on the alliance, the girl had lost her parents prior to meeting Ashwin.
Nonetheless, both Ashiwn and Uma decided to build a good life together for themselves and husband encouraged his wife to to pursue an MBA from Tata Institute of Social Sciences in Mumbai. Later, Uma too persuaded Ashwin to complete his masters and he did it the same from IIM Indore. It seemed like a made for each other union!
Wife’s Family
Though Uma had lost both her parents prior to meeting Ashwin, she had two elder sisters and a younger brother. Priya (Sister No. 1 – Named Changed) was unmarried, was a homeopath, however, did not have a proper job. Anju (Sister Number 2 – Name Changed) is married with two kids and lives in Bandra. Mahesh (Younger brother – Name Changed) is married, not too financially well off and lives with his wife and children in their family home at Pune.
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Priya is a self centred woman who had many opportunities to get married, however, she had pre condition of marrying a man who had no sibling. Thus, she never found her ‘ideal’ match and remained unmarried. Ashwin says,
We tried to help her but nothing ever materialised.
Since Uma was financially better off than her sisters and brother, she would often help them and later inform Ashwin, which was never a matter of contention for the husband.
2017
After 11-years of marriage, Uma got pregnant and in March 2017, the couple learnt about the good news. However, what unfold was unimaginable, since the following month, Uma was diagnosed with tumour which later turned out to be breast cancer.
Her chemotherapy sessions commenced so that the birth of child remained unaffected. Uma started responding well to the treatment and a daughter was born to them in August 2017. The chemo was stopped for a while till delivery of the baby, which later recommenced in Sep-Oct that year.
Mysteriously one day, Ashwin himself collapsed in his house in November 2017. Uma rushed him to Fortis and the man remained in ICU for two full days. The doctors told Uma that he may not survive. He was later shifted to the Leelavati hospital in Bandra, but still remained in comma for five days. Ashwin says,
It was my wife’s efforts and presence of mind that saved my life, not the doctors. I had to be in the hospital for a month. Since my treatment was taking longer, and my wife was also continuing her chemo treatment, we had to leave our 3-month old daughter at Anju’s place at Bandra.
2018
Uma later moved to her sister’s place as well. In Jan 2018 Ashwin, who had been diagnosed with Tuberculous Meningitis, too returned home and was on medication for 10-months. It is unknown how Ashwin contracted this infection, since their home was completely sanitised during Uma’s chemo sessions and also, he was working from home since past nine years.
Now coming to Uma’s health who had also undergone a surgery for her ongoing treatment, required utmost healthcare while she stayed at her sister’s place. Ashwin says,
My wife was supposed to be bed ridden, but her family would take her out and click pics as if all was normal. Her cancer relapsed in March 2018 and her sisters discontinued the treatment from TATA Memorial centre hospital in Mumbai and took her away to Pune.
He continues,
The reason for Priya to take her to Pune was to remove Uma’s name from the ration card office in May 2018. Priya had done the same with Anju too, since she felt both sisters were married and thus, their names should not co-exist in the ration card.My wife was moving around with cylinder, yet her elder sister dragged her inhumanly to the ration card office.
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Uma’s treatment should have continued in Pune where she had been shifted, but in September 2018 her family decided to send her back to Bandra without informing me. Ashwin says,
When I questioned why were they shuttling her back and forth amidst treatment, I was given a lame excuse that Uma wanted to visit Ganpati at her sister’s place. The sisters also kept my wife away from me on the pretext of my ill-health. Nonetheless, they kept sending me every single bill which I kept paying.
Wife Passes Away
On Sep 29, 2018, Uma’s health deteriorated and instead of taking her to Leelavati, where the family had good contacts, she was taken to one Guru Nanak hospital — which happens to be exactly opposite the Bandra family court. Husband quotes,
My wife was in ICU and put on tracheoscopy I was paying all bills and had given Uma’s debit card to her elder sister for emergency spending. I used to transfer money to wife’s account so elder sister could use the same for medicines and other requirements.Shockingly, while my wife laid in the ICU, on Oct 16, both sisters and brother insisted that I shared my income proof and ration card details with them. They gave me unreasonable excuse that since I had spent a lot on her, they had contacted some NGO for financial assistance and they required my income statement and other details.
According to Ashwin, any NGO that would see his income statement, will never give any financial support for the wife and also he had never asked anyone for any money. Doctors by now said Uma won’t survive.
On Oct 18, 2018, the sisters booked an ambulance and once again decided to take her to Pune. Ashwin exclaims,
I met Uma on the 17th night in ICU, told her not to speak as she was unwell. She wrote to me on a writing pad that she was leaving for Pune next day. On 18th when she was on her way in the ambulance, I received a call that my wife had passed away. They had then crossed the toll naka on Mumbai-Pune highway.I reached Pune and we cremated her the same night. While the sisters and brother remained in Pune, I returned back to Bombay.
Child Custody
From Oct 18 to Nov 17, 2018, Ashwin kept calling the wife’s family to let his daughter come back to him. However, the family kept dogging his calls. Realising that there was no concrete response, Ashwin decided to get in touch with his friend who happened to be an IPS officer.
He was taken to the Commissioner’s office in Pune and was asked to give his complaint in written. As a father, he was told that he could directly go and bring her. The Pune CP also sent police along as a precaution. Ashwin says,
My cousin sister accompanied me. To our shock, my brother-in-law who is 9-yrs younger to my cousin sister attacked her. All she had done was just requested for our child. The police stepped in and all of us were taken to the police station. My late father-in-law was an ACP and thus my wife’s family knew the laws well.We were kept in separate rooms and in front of the police, they were confidently questioning the police instead, how they could intervene without a court order. They even threatened the police that they would complain against them. This is when my cousin asked me to take them to court since they had come well prepared with the laws.
Court Proceedings
Ashwin approached Bombay High Court in December 2018. Priya and Mahesh walked in with their advocate. Priya herself walked up to the witness box and questioned the judge if he knew what the case was.
Judge rapped her stating that the case was filed under habeas corpus where the child was supposed to be present. A subsequent date was given. On the following date, the main advocate joined them along. She was none other than a well known women’s rights activist who is also a practicing lawyer.
Ashwin later learnt that the family had been planning the ground work at the Bandra family court, while Uma had been admitted to the hospital across the road. Ashwin says,
My advocate was a criminal lawyer and argued to expedite the case. Bombay HC gave their verdict in March 2019. The court gave them 15 days time to hand over child custody to me, the father. Else, on the 16th day the police was directed to take action.However, on Day 15, the sisters along with their lawyer approached Bombay HC for extension of the order. Bombay HC dismissed the same asking them to honour the order on the same day itself.
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On learning this, Ashwin’s lawyer asked him to rush and take custody of his child. Ashwin’s 79-year-old mother was with him and their junior lawyer and police accompanied them to take custody. Ashwin narrates,
The police asked me and my mother to go up to their home along with two lady constables. The moment we rang the bell, Anju’s 26-year-old son (who is XII Fail) abused us in worst than roadside language. Later, both sisters and Anju’s husband too started abusing us saying they will teach me a lesson.My brother-in-law Mahesh was also in present in the house and told us that they had approached Supreme Court. Since the hearing had not happened in the matter, technically they had to hand over child.
The family had contact in police, they lived in an ex-police officer’s bldg. Cops realised their might. All were summoned back to the police station where the activist lawyer too joined. Ashwin says,
That day I realised no matter how strong the police is, they couldn’t do anything in front of such an activist lawyer.Then matter moved to Supreme Court and on May 8, 2019 the top court ordered that they were supposed to hand over the child to father’s house on May 10 by 10am with her belongings.
Continuing further the father states,
I was waiting at home waiting for my child when the local police station officer from Kharghar called me saying, your daughter (who was 1.7yrs old) is here. Come and take her from here. Finally I got my daughter since May 10, 2019.
I Didn’t Know What Was Coming Next
Ashwin’s mother who lived in Jamshedpur now came to reside with him and her grandchild in Mumbai. His elder brother is married without kids and lives in the steel city. Ashwin shockingly quotes,
My mother asked me to give away my child to my brother and his wife, since the baby needed a mother. I insisted that my daughter belonged to me and my beloved wife and I will take care of her as both father and mother.On May 23, my daughter was due for vaccination and I had taken her to the doctor. When I returned home, my mother had already left without informing me.
The very same day, Ashwin’s sister-in-laws learnt about the mother leaving his home — probably someone from the society updated them. They once again turned up at Ashwin’s door requesting for two-days visitation to take the child to Kolhapur. Ashwin says that he did not want to be rigid in allowing them visitation. He said,
Court order said they can visit her on weekends, but due to mis-interpretation, I allowed my daughter to go with them. I had to trust them.
Once again, they continued keeping the girl child with them for nearly three months on some pretext or the other and ultimately the man had to hire a maid by August. Once again, Ashwin went to the Bandra home in September 2019, the in-laws tried all possible tricks so that he could not get an uber. However, Ashwin later took an auto from Bandra to Sion and subsequently a cab from Sion to Kharghar and got his daughter home.
According to Ashwin, his deceased wife’s family was tracking his movement and exactly knew when he would be at his residence. They also tried to influence his 65-year-old maid, asking her to complain against the man of the house alleging immoral activities. Ashwin stated,
My maid was threatened and ultimately she left the home. I have been looking after my daughter since October 2019 all alone.
During COVID
The sister-in-law once again on pretext of doctor’s visit took the child for two days in February. The doctor requested the father if he could leave the child with them for few more days and since then the child is stuck with their aunts due to quarantine.
Many of the readers may feel whether Ashwin made a blunder by allowing access once again to his in-laws. To this he says,
Despite Supreme Court order, I as biological father, have to beg for my child. Activist lawyers use and misuse laws to their advantage. They are committing a big crime. After wife’s death, my sister-in-laws transferred my wife’s money to their account.Legally I did a blunder by allowing them visitation again. However, on human ground, I saw their changed behaviours and did not want to stop my daughter from meeting with them. My wife and I had a very healthy relationship. I never said my in-laws cannot meet my daughter, but I was used.
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Ashwin explains the keen interest of his sister-in-laws with his daughter. He says,
My grandmother had a huge property distributed amongst my father and his brother. My father has his own property worth crores. The only heir to those properties is my daughter since my brother too does not have children. This explains why my in-laws are after my daughter.Once quarantine is over I intend to bring daughter back soon.
On a sombre note, Ashwin ends,
Ours is a unique case where both father and mother loved each other a lot, yet our own child is left amidst a custody tussle.
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http://voiceformenindia.com/his-story/divorce-india/
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