Few days ago, we had requested our readers to share their balanced ideas on the Criminalisation of Marital Rape, or lets call it Marital Sex. Since consent will be a very subjective term, calling it Rape will already label all husbands as rapists.
Here are some of the responses below:
Our instagram follower with ID @Bhavesh_1947_06 shares,
This law will impose serious threat to Men lives all over India. There is no way a man can prove his innocence , installing CCTV cameras and taking videos is secondary thing. Though sex has taken place with consent on one date, but if the wife changes her statement about consent, you as a husband have no recourse.
Lets remember, this is not a Gender Neutral law, which means, if a wife forces husband to have sex, legally he does not have a Right to Say NO.
India already has draconian laws like Section 498-A of the IPC, which is enough to send the entire family of a husband to jail. Getting bail is a completely different ball game that requires lot of money per family member, constant fear of arrest, clubbed with loss of face in society. Imagine if a husband and his family are simultaneously and falsely charged with all biased sections such as Section 498-A, Domestic Violence, Marital Rape, others, entire family will lose their lifelong earnings, as they may be left struggling nearly for a decade to get justice.
If Marital Rape law is passed, it will be misused much more like extortion tool – even more misused than 498-A
When it comes to Child Custody cases, fathers are already at a loss. A false Marital Rape case will charge the man with criminal cases, compelling the court not to grant him even basic visitation rights. He would be left once again to only provide alimony and child support maintenance.
We are already witnessing several cases where disgruntled women are filing false rape charges against their father-in-laws, just to send them behind bars. The number of suicides in married men is way higher than that of married women. Bringing in one more based law, will leave innocent Men with no choice, and only increase the number of suicides where police or threat of police is involved.
The only and only benefit will be that the women who really suffer will have one more option, besides the existing laws. However, should misuse not be deliberated, especially testimony will solely be word of the wife?
Another reader who chooses to remain anonymous wrote,
Regarding the marital rape law or rape laws in general I have a very simple question. How does a man confirm consent? Forgive me if I am mistaken, but there is no legally accepted way a man can prove that he did in fact have consent. If you cannot confirm consent, you cannot prove it. And women like to have the power of revoking consent after the act.
Any woman you sleep with now has the power to destroy your life now or at any point in the future. It’s like putting on a bomb vest and handing over the remote. You cannot win this argument if there is no way to confirm and prove consent consistently and reliably.
If you asked women, ok ladies we will play it your way, we acknowledge that consent is most important, so tell us what is the best way a man can confirm that he has consent? By signing a piece of paper, a government issued form 69? No. because you can always argue it was signed under duress or there was coercion, or the famous he promised to marry me charade.
How about a witness? Any time two heterosexual members of the opposite gender decide to have sex, a transgender witness must be present and mediate the contract? Would that work? No. Women want to be the ones who have the leverage. Just like in sexual harassment cases.
What is the difference between flirting and sexual harassment? If the woman finds the man attractive it’s flirting, if she finds him ugly then it’s harassment. How do you make a law based on such subjective parameters? Some western countries have similar laws regarding prostitution. It is perfectly legal for a woman to sell her “services”, but it is illegal for a man to buy them.
Our situation is no different. The bottom line is this, unless we come up with a way to objectively confirm consent, no amount of arguing will solve the problem. And I can almost guarantee you women will not get on board with this idea. They will fight tooth and nail to keep the concept of consent as vague as possible so they can twist the facts to their benefit at a time of their convenience.
Rijil Raj, an NRI working as a Business Consultant, interested in following politics and current affairs shares an indepth perspective on the debate of Marital Rape Law. He quotes,
Men want to rape their wives
No. Being a gynocentric society and laws being stacked against men, they don’t want to be legally enslaved. Every individual should be able to exercise their right to disagree to anyone without being afraid. This right will be taken away from husbands as any disagreement can become a false marital rape case against him. Men need equal wives not feudal lords.
Marital rape is criminalised in most countries
Indian criminal system is ill equipped. Every country is different. Some countries have abundant resources, technology, infrastructure and fully equipped legal system that has the capability to filter out false cases and efficiently convict the criminals in a fool proof manner.
The Indian criminal justice system is filled with loopholes and ill equipped to handle such cases and prove or disprove a marital rape case beyond doubt.
Gender neutral laws
Most if not all countries that have criminalised marital rape have done it in a gender neutral way. The most important factor that determines rape is “consent”, and consent works both ways. A man can also be raped without his consent. Bodily autonomy is applicable to men as well.
Trash taking out itself
This is an example of ad-hominem fallacy. Nobody should be concerned if one chooses to stay unmarried. At least men are not resorting to name calling or violence. Men peacefully protesting against an unfair law is their right and whoever undermines that is against freedom and democracy. Understand that men are protesting against an unfair law that violates their freedom articulated according to Indian constitution and is in violation of UN human rights declaration.
Women are not protected from marital rape
Women are protected from any type of abuse or violence in a marriage. According to The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, sexual abuse is covered under the act. Apart from sexual abuse, physical, emotional, verbal, economic abuse, harassment, harm, injury etc are also covered.
A law cannot be withheld just because it could be misused
Point. But are there checks in place to stop misuse of laws? Do we have effective recourse mechanism in the law if cases are found to be false? The answer is NO. Anyone having a sane mind would agree that rape is a crime even if it done by the husband. However, what kind of evidence can prove or disprove a rape that happens between a married couple? It would be almost impossible to prove or disprove a marital rape. Already there are laws to address this. See the previous point.
There is no substance in arguing misuse of laws
There are innumerable instances where women centric laws have been misused. A simple google search for ‘most misused law in India’ is enough to debunk this claim. The supreme court itself has voiced its concern on the extensive misuse of women-centric laws. It had also termed misuse of section 498A as ‘legal terrorism’ Please go through the yearly statistics provided by National Crime Records Bureau for more clarity on this.
Who would actually benefit if marital rape is criminalised?
A small percentage of evil narcissistic women who wants to take revenge on their husband, extort money, continue their illicit affairs, obtain easy divorce, obtain child custody or alimony during divorce settlement etc.
Family members who manipulate and coerce women to file false cases to extort money from husbands, or take revenge.
Lawyers who wants to earn a commission from the settlement received by women from their husbands for withdrawing the cases filed.
Political parties that want to appease women and utilize the natural gynocentricity in society to gain support and votes. They are least concerned about facts or figures.
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